“‘By Myself’President Trump fired Secretary of State Rex Tillerson on Tuesday, a move that had long been rumored to be imminent. Tillerson held the position for just over 14 months, a relatively short term for a secretary of state.Trump boasted to reporters that he had made the call to oust Tillerson “by myself.” Jimmy Fallon found that amusing.“I heard Trump has been telling people that he fired Rex Tillerson all by himself. Trump brags about firing people the same way a toddler brags about using the bathroom alone for the first time.”
“Of course you did it by yourself, there’s no one left at the White House anymore. It’s just you and your Slovenian captive!” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“In the past few weeks, Gary Cohn, Hope Hicks and now Rex Tillerson have all left the White House. Most people have said they’re shocked, while Betsy DeVos was like, ‘Wait, how the hell am I still here?’” — JIMMY FALLON”
“Dan Letwin, a history professor at Penn State, wrote a timely “ode to alternative facts”:
Well now, Kellyanne Conway has lately conceived
Of a new understanding of what to believe
When the truth gives you heartburn, don’t worry, relax
You can always resort to alternative facts!”
Oh it works for the Donald and all of his hacks
As they go ’bout promoting their retrograde acts
Don’t fret if your documentation is lax
You can always get by with alternative facts!
Don’t fear all those women with signs on their backs
The straight and the queer, the whites and blacks
You can trivialize them with snide little cracks
And wash them away with alternative facts!
Just as loggers might swing an alternative ax
And fell a great tree with alternative whacks
When the truth won’t cooperate, try some new tacks
We live in an age of alternative facts!
“Few comedians capture the liberal mood as well as John Oliver and Stephen Colbert, who tag-teamed President Trump with biting sarcasm Tuesday night on “The Late Show.”OLIVER: Until Inauguration Day, you know, nothing was really happening. It was just being tied to a train track, watching the train coming, and then, of course, Inauguration Day is the train hitting you and you’re thinking, “Yup, that felt pretty much how I thought it was going to feel.”Mr. Colbert warned his British-born friend that he might be deported in a Trump America — “tossed out like tea,” as Mr. Oliver put it — even with his green card. The prospect drew a stinging remark about sacrifice and the president.OLIVER: We held up translators, Afghan and Iraqi translators, at the border who have bled for a country they’ve never visited, have sacrificed family members for this country. This president has done neither of those things. So it’s a little hard to swallow him telling people whether they should be a benefit to America or not.”